By Angelo Ross, PSIA-AASI Education Development Manager

Self-Work

My evidence is anecdotal but, in our Association, I think we’re generally more open to and interested in working to improve our technical skills (understanding, movement analysis, and performance) than our people skills and teaching skills. I’m often told, “Just tell me what I’m doing wrong,” in reference to technical performance, when working with a group of instructors during a clinic. I’ve been asked much less often to evaluate someone’s teaching performance, and I’ve never been asked to tell someone what they’re “doing wrong” with their people skills.

Self-work – intentional effort to improve one’s self-awareness, emotional well-being, and relationships – involves a vulnerability that doing better pivot slips, for example, does not. While technical performance improvement may involve some physical risk and take some time and effort, critical evaluation of self hits deeper. Self-work is inherently subjective and, therefore, biased. It can threaten our self-image, stir up uncomfortable memories and emotions, and create cognitive dissonance by clashing with our self-concept of being a good person.

However, self-work usually proves to be worth the effort as we learn more about ourselves – our worldview, communication tendencies, and social habits – and improve our relationships with others. As family members, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, members of society, and teachers, we owe it to everyone else to nurture our interpersonal skills.

Below are some tips for emotional intelligence self-assessment relative to each of our People Skills Fundamentals. I’ve taken liberty with sequence because, I believe, intrapersonal awareness is foundational to interpersonal relationships. The ideas below can be incorporated into a lessons journal if you’re the type of teacher who makes written reflections after teaching.

1. Know Thyself

Whether overestimating our strengths, focusing disproportionately on our perceived weaknesses, looking for examples to confirm our rose-colored self-perceptions, or worrying that everyone is only focused on our flaws, identifying, understanding, and managing our own emotions and actions is categorically difficult. Try these tips to kickstart or augment your intrapersonal improvement practice:

1. Track your emotions. Keep a daily or weekly log or journal. I purchased a journaling app called Journey that allows me to select from one of five emoji faces to indicate my mood at that time. Record: What emotion(s) did you feel? What triggered the emotion(s)? What was your response? Examining your entries can illuminate behavior patterns and habits you can work with.
2. Plan ahead and pause. If you know your triggers, you can be on the lookout for stress and choose to practice patience. When you sense stress, hit the pause button. Have a technique: Take five full breaths; count to 10. I pinch my right thumb and index finger together and focus on my breathing. Ask yourself, “React or respond?” Reactions are emotion-fueled; responses are more thoughtful. Then respond.
3. Review your emotional recovery time. Record how long it takes you to calm down after a stressful situation. Does a quiet drive home after work clear your head? Sitting quietly for a few minutes? Taking the dog for a walk? Or do you carry it for longer than you like? Knowing your tendencies is the first step in working toward improvement.

2. Get to Know Others

To know others, we have to pay attention to them, listen respectfully to them, and – in our world of teaching snowsports – incorporate their ideas, desires, and goals into the learning environment we create with them. Engaging in meaningful, two-way communication can be enhanced with the following strategies:

1. Determine your listening vs. talking ratio. After conversations or lessons, in your journal, reflect on how much you talked compared to how much you listened. When the other person is speaking, are you listening or waiting to respond? Do you compare what people are saying to what their body language is telling you? Does your body language convey active listening (eye contact, nodding, open posture)?
2. Check for confirmation. Do you paraphrase to confirm understanding and ask clarifying questions, or do your responses go off on a tangent? When someone else is talking, are you listening to them or just waiting to talk? Record miscommunications in your lesson journal and work to determine the causes.
3. Solicit feedback. It can be uncomfortable, but ask your students, colleagues, friends, and family if they feel heard when they speak with you. Look for patterns in the feedback you get. Trends indicate aspects of your communication habits you can work to change. 

3. Trust Is Earned

Students usually grant us some level of what I call “benefit-of-the-doubt trust” as a matter of course because we are employed by a snowsports school, wearing a uniform, and very likely know more than they do about our sport. In a short lesson (two hours to a day in length), this arrangement usually works just fine. But to develop relationships based on real trust – trust that can withstand some turbulence – typically takes more time. Consider some thoughtful reflection on the following:

1. Reflect on consistency. Do your actions match your words through time? Do you consistently live up to the expectations of your role as a snowsports teacher from the vantage point of your students, managers, and colleagues? Are you punctual? Is your attendance at work regular? Do others ask you to do things because they assume you’ll be there and do a good job?
2. Respect boundaries. Most or all of us ski, ride, work, and train with people we consider friends. In fact, that’s why many of us do this job. However, the teacher-student relationship is different – more formal – than friendship and, because of that, a professional distance is appropriate.
3. Use case studies. Reflect on a couple trusting relationships you are in and a couple with limited trust. Analyze them as case studies and ask yourself: What built trust? What damaged it? What repaired it? Awareness provides a foundation to anticipate and respond positively and effectively in future relationships or to repair existing ones that need it.

4. Recognize and Influence Behaviors

The spirit of the last people skills fundamental is of the best intention, recognizing and influencing the behaviors, motivations, and emotions of others in such a way that the teacher-student relationship maintains physical and emotional safety, supports learning, and moves students toward their goals. I think of situations that are likely familiar to most of us: a very upset kid in a lesson, a student overcome by fear, or someone with a need for speed and not as much concern about the need to turn, slow down, and stop. Effectively managing the behavior of others can be a tall order. The following may help:

1. Track your influence. Journal about situations in which you were successful and unsuccessful. Analyze what worked and what didn’t. For those that didn’t, write about, visualize, or rehearse what you would do given another shot at it. Talk to confidants about what works for them. For their strategies that click for you, write about, visualize, or rehearse incorporating them into your methods. 
2. Be a people watcher. Pay attention to social cues. Is someone going along with the group even though they don’t really want to? Pay attention to body language. Does the mouth say GO while the body says RETREAT? Try to analyze others’ emotionality vs. rationality ratio to determine their motivation. Ask people about their emotional state if you’re unsure. 
3. Utilize empathy mapping. During interactions, ask yourself: 1. What behaviors am I observing? 2. What words am I hearing? 3. What might they be thinking and feeling? 4. What may be the motivation here? Observable behaviors sit like the tip of an iceberg on a world of unseen factors. Considering what lies beneath the observables can help us to make better suggestions and decisions that will impact our students. 

Self-work is challenging and essential. In fact, it is a life’s work. Developing people skills requires vulnerability, reflection, and a willingness to confront personal bias. But, the payoff is worth it as it leads to deeper self-awareness and stronger relationships in all aspects of our lives, not just in the lessons we teach.

By practicing emotional intelligence self-assessment – identifying our emotions, engaging in meaningful communication, building trust, and understanding others – we not only elevate our instruction, but our quality of life. Like all growth, it takes effort, humility, and patience. But it’s worth it – because how we show up for others starts with how we understand and care for ourselves.

Access the PSIA-AASI People Skills Performance Guide to examine observable behaviors associated with instructor decisions & behaviors and people skills.